Monotony Strokes...

Life seems to have taken a break, break from a lot of stuff. College is over, all friends gone (not literally but figuratively), all late night gossiping over, terrace talks gone. I’m suffering with a pause, I guess, where I’m finding it difficult to figure out, what is going to be the next move, what is going to be the next way, to go. I very often suffer from this when life just gets transitioned from, the one, where I used to be surrounded by countless number of people, some, for whom I yearn a lot, and some being the ones who made me realize their presence, by merely being there, pre-occupied in their own stuff, to the one, which looks to be a bit monotonous. I think I’m getting monotony strokes.

 I feel confused, confused about past, present and future, all jamming up together in my mind. Memories from the past rising up like the aroma rising out of a stranger’s kitchen, all you can do is to admire the smell and can just crave for the delicious food but can’t go in there and have it.  Present is getting up lost in planning out stuff, when I’m still not clear what I want. And future looks like a beautiful present for me but getting wrapped up far -far away and all I’m supposed to do is to just wait for it, for god knows how long.  And among all this, all I’m trying to do is to find out a poise, which may satisfy the infinite sparks rising up in my heart.

 I think the problem is, I have got too much of the free time to over think and it definitely does not seem to be good for a person like me. I always want to be surrounded with people and not by their telephonic or texting version, but truly it’s said, you can’t get, everything you desire. I know this is just a phase and soon it’s going to be over, but god knows why everything about this period looks creepy.

And while writing this out, rather can say, blabbering this out, I’m figuring out that all I need is just a slight change in perspective and broaden my field of view to cherish this phase as well, because once gone, it is also not going to sneak a peek back.